A mid-year life and goal reflection: Are you where you want to be with your life in 2024?
As we approach the end of June and the winter solstice,
it’s a great opportunity to reflect on the year so far and whether you are where you want to be or where you think you should be. Many of us get to this point, our goals have fallen by the wayside and acknowledging that doesn’t feel great. We feel embarrassed that we haven’t done the things we said we would, so we either pretend those goals never existed and tell ourselves we will start again next year.
Here is my gentle encouragement to you. If you are telling yourself you have to start again, don’t think of it that way. Do the exercise below and continue your journey, where you left off. Take the information that you have learned from your attempt so far and start where you are at, because you are already on your way. You are further along than if you wait and go back to the start.
How to do a quick check-in:
Whatever your goal planning methods were, get your list out, or make a new one and quickly note whether you are where you want to be or not for each goal.
For the goals you have identified as not being met to date, ask yourself two questions.
1. What AREN’T I doing that I should be doing to reach my goals and why?
2. What ARE the reasons I am staying the same? In other words, how am I benefitting from not doing the things I need to do to be on target with this goal?
If you can answer these questions, you have all the information you need to begin making changes..
An example might be if you had an exercise goal.
When we answer the first question, the things we aren’t doing are usually our excuses.
We aren’t exercising because we don’t have enough time. We aren’t making time.
We aren’t exercising because we aren’t organised enough. We aren’t organising ourselves.
We aren’t exercising because other things keep coming up. We aren’t prioritising our goals and exercise.
We aren’t exercising because it takes a lot of effort. We aren’t making the effort.
The second question gives us the thing that supports our excuses. It shows us how we are indirectly benefiting from not changing our behaviour and working towards our goals.
If you want to exercise in the morning, it benefits you by not exercising so you can have more sleep.
If you don’t have to get up earlier in the morning, it benefits you in that you don’t have to go to bed earlier.
If you don’t plan your exercise into your schedule, it benefits you as you don’t have to become more organised.
If you can identify these patterns in your behaviour, you are closer to your goals than you believe.
So how do we re-start our goals?
Part of the answer to reaching our goals is understanding how your brain works.
The brain likes efficiency. The more efficient and predictable your life is, the less energy the brain needs to use. It loves to work on default. Default habits, default routines and default choices. Conversely, any change requires effort because the brain doesn’t like change, even when you know the change is good for you.
From our exercise example, we then ask what is most important to me?
Am I choosing to stay up and watch Netflix or am I choosing to go to sleep earlier so I can get up earlier and exercise? You don’t have a time issue, you have to choose to make time and your brain is working against you.
Knowing that your brain is going to tell you to do the same thing that you have always done because it likes efficiency, doesn’t mean you have to believe it (your brain) or do what it says. But this will take effort. It’s not just the exercise itself that is necessarily hard because we know it is good for us and actually want to do it, it’s the change that requires the effort.
Coaching can help you identify the reasons you aren’t meeting your goals. How not working on your goals is keeping you comfortable even if it’s not what you want for yourself. How your brain is working against you every time you want to introduce a change, even if it is for the best.
There are still 6 months of the rest of the year to make changes and reach your goals. Alex works 1:1 with you and can help you with any of your goals whether they are health, personal, emotional regulation, work/life balance or relationship struggles. In addition to coaching you will walk away with tools that you can apply in all areas of your life so you are empowered to make change and meet your goals ongoing.
